Record Review: The Drums – The Drums

Scene: A housing estate flat in Manchester in the early 1980s. Two well-dressed youths sit at a table and have a discussion.

Morrisey: Hey Johnny, I think we should start a band, man.

Johnny Marr: I totally agree, Morrisey. But what kind of music should we play?

Morrisey: I think we should play Shangri Las-esque love ballads that have lots of reverb. We could call ourselves The Drums!

Johnny Marr: Fuck that. Let's write songs about dying and being bent and call our band The Smiths. Let some other bunch of wankers be The Drums in 30 years or so.

Morrisey: Sounds good to me.

Morrisey and Johnny Marr: Gooooooooo Smiths!!!!

The two youths leap into the air and hi-five. Everything is awesome.

End scene.

It's true, in the same vein as their buddies Best Coast and Surfer Blood, The Drums wear their influences on their Abercrombie & Fitch 'Classic Collection' sleeves. The lyrics reek of Morrisey's influence:

"You were my best friend. But then you died"
- Best Friend

"We tried, oh yeah we tried. But then we died. Oh yeah we died."
- We Tried

And the music could have easily been scored by Mongo Wilson, the retarded half-brother of the Beach Boys. But you know what, I don't really give a shit because this album is the perfect soundtrack to a summer. It's just a shame it's been released at the height of winter in Oz.

With it's chunky surf guitar lines, Casiotone swoons, reverb drenched cymbals, and overtly emotional vocals, I can picture myself listening to this record at a late night pool party, in between sipping on a can of flat beer/chlorinated water and trying to hide my erection from girls in bikinis.

Unfortunately I also get the vibe that it's an album that would be perfect for just ONE summer. It's one of those CDs you have in your car and listen to non-stop for three solid months, learning every lyric off by heart, before abandoning it in your Nissan Pintara's glove box along with Franz Ferdinand and Superheist.

I suppose that's the thing about imitations - they're maybe okay for a short-term fix, but before long the taste has gone bland and you're craving the originals.

On a side note: I'd like to nominate this bread sandwich of an album cover for the most boring/least evocative of 2010. It looks like something my Nan would learn to make in computer class at her nursing home.

Originally published in Polaroids of Androids